First of all, thank you everyone for coming. My father lived for being social. He would have enjoyed this service so much and not just for the beautiful decorations, songs, and ceremony, but mostly for the people! His last few days were spent celebrating his life with non-stop visitors wanting to be with him as long as they could. No matter how tired he got it was hard for him to turn away his beloved friends. So, as you all now his life will be hard to ‘sum’ up. Honestly, I don’t think his remembrance and impact will end here. The way he loved and lived will leave a lasting impact and legacy. But, I am going to do my very best to capture a little portion of his ripple effect. My dad loved movies. I think this passion for movie watching started at a young age because his grandfather, my great grandpa Julius, would make movies a big deal. They would set up the film, pop lots of popcorn, and eat their favorite candy. Dad had many fond memories on the farm with his grandpa and this was one tradition and love he passed down to Jonah and I. There was one movie in particular that he would watch every time he was sick. A movie titled, Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium. If you have not watched the movie, Mr. Magorium has bought many pairs of the same shoe and once those shoes were worn out he planned to die. This man had a special kind of magic that just didn’t always make sense and with that magic he owned a magical toy store. At the time of his death he plans to give his toy story to a lady named Mahoney. Mahoney is sad when she hears that Mr. Magorium is dying. She loves him like a father. Her response to this news is, “Don’t Go.” He replies, “My Darling.” She says, “I am not ready. I am not ready for it to end.” In the last few weeks with my dad we watched this movie one more time I related so much to what Mahoney says, “I am not ready.” and I was not. I don’t think I would have ever been ‘ready.’ Then Mr. Magorium says, “I’m sorry, When King Lear dies in Act 5, do you know what Shakespeare has written? He’s written, “He dies.” That’s all, nothing more. No fan fair. No metaphor. No brilliant final words. The culmination of the most influential work of dramatic literature is, “He dies.” It takes Shakespeare, a genius to come up with, “He dies.” And yet every time I read those two words I find myself overwhelmed with dysphoria. And I know it’s only natural to be sad, but not because of the words, “He dies.” But because of the life we saw prior to the words. I have lived all five of my acts, Mahoney, and I am not asking you to be happy that I must go, I am only asking that you turn the page, continue reading, and let the next story begin.” So now, even though many of us may not be ready, we have to start turning the page and allow his legacy to continue. His legacy starts here. Randy was deeply in love with his savior. His relationship with Christ effected every action he took and every word he spoke. He allowed Jesus to mold him into a man that served and cared for others. Take Welcome Home for example. The Nursing home my father owned was small and stayed small. He always wanted to grow his company, but he couldn’t. You know why? His heart was just too big. He cared so much about the individual lives of his staff and his residents. He had to know each of them personally. He had to make sure every resident had the best care. He would sometimes go without a paycheck to pay his employees because he realized that they were the most important part of the business. “If you take care of your employees, they will take care of you,” he always said. All of them had their skin in the game at the end. Thank you to everyone who worked at Welcome Home over the years or stepped foot into that humble place. Thank you to the residents who lived there and those who supported their loved ones. This is one area where my dad was able to share his passion for Jesus through his actions. He also invested his time, finances, and emotional energy into the organization known as YoungLife. Dad’s time with Young Life started as a financial commitment, then turned into a volunteer position, and eventually dad went to camp, actually a few camps, with the boys Jonah’s age. Dad not only was a huge part of the Younglife community, but the YL community affected him. His relationship with the Lord grew exponentially as he poured his heart into the kid’s lives and the leaders poured into his. Thank you to all the Younglifers who went along with us on this journey. A huge part of his testimony in coming to Christ was falling in love with Sue. He said their marriage saved his life. Then when he had me, he said that I changed his life. Having kids, or at least he told me, was what woke him up to changing his legacy. He knew that he wanted to be the best dad ever and that became his ultimate goal in life. In order to do that he turned to Christ because he knew relying on his own strength would have made the task impossible. One example of this was memorizing Bible verses. In Middle School my father would drop me off and have me say, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength and love your neighbor as yourself,” before I got out of the car. I learned to say that so fast… “(say it again fast), I love you dad, bye!” I also remember finding Bible verses on notecards in my various school bags throughout the day. He showed me Jesus in the everyday subtleties. By the time I was in Highschool, I began to watch him more closely. Every morning he would wake up between 4:30 and 5 and spend an hour or more with Jesus. I would see him wrapping up his study on his knees in the living room praying to God. Then he would make me oatmeal and because that never filled me up he would always have something to follow it. Eggs, pancakes, always a hot breakfast and always perfect. If you did not know, he is the breakfast king! He did this throughout my high school career giving me an example of what it means to truly lean on Christ and serve and love others daily. Then I went off to college and we stayed close. Calling often. He was my best friend, my confidant and adventure buddy. I will miss him more than anything, ever. Now, the last story I would like to share is from our recent trip to Israel. In February, Dad was overall quite healthy and we made the trip to the Holy Land. I could tell you many stories from this trip, but right now I want to focus on the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem. At that wall, the Jews come to worship God. They do not believe that the messiah came to stand in their place as a sacrifice for their sins. Which also means they do not believe in the Holy Spirit. They believe in the same God, yet they do not have access to him except for in specific locations with specific rituals. They believe they have to go to the wall for God to hear them. As Christians, we have access to our God and Jesus anywhere we pray and gather together. The Jews God is limited. Our God is limitless. Jesus broke the barrier and we live in that freedom. When my father walked up to the wall he was overwhelmed with sadness for the Jews in front of him who were stuck in the laws of the old testament that restricted their access to God and rejected the messiah. He came away from the wall with tears in his eyes. His heart for people to know the truth about his powerful God was huge! He was overwhelmed at the idea that they were so close to the truth, yet so very far away. His heart for other’s to know the truth was larger than his own life. One moment I will never forget was on one of the last days my father had on this earth. My mom, asked him, “Honey, what do you want to do today? Anything. You name it! Let’s do it.” My father replied, “I want to enhance other’s lives, how can I do that right now?” This moment at the wall and this last moment with my mother show the true depth of my father’s love towards his God and his love towards his friends and family. His love for God overflowed into the way he treated those around him. I love my father and he will forever live in my heart. Thank you, Daddy for the beautiful example of Jesus that you gave me. Well Done, Good and Faithful Servant.
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When you look up the definition of “release” in Google the first definition that pops up is, “allow or enable to escape from confinement; set free.”
I love being in control. I love knowing what my purpose is and how, when, or what will happen next. Along with my type A personality and love for control I can be a little much when it comes to… well pretty much anything. I am never someone who goes half way. I am either all in or all out. During the last couple years of my life I have attempted to stay in control of everything that happens, but God keeps telling me to let go. This year my word is release. Before dwelling on this word, I had already begun to start the process of release. One-way God is teaching me to let go right now is by, in some ways, holding me hostage right where I am at. He is making me be content with all that I have right now. I had planned to work in my current position at my current workplace for a few months. More of a transition time, or so I thought. One and a half years later I am still in the same position I was in. A lot has changed at the company, a lot has changed in my heart and I am not who I was two years ago. During this entire year and a half, I lived physically in Olympia, but my heart always stayed behind with my parents in Shoreline. I felt like I was living in an alternate universe during the week, my heart aching to be with my dad so that he would feel better in the midst of being sick. While I was in Olympia during the week, I kept myself busy every evening with some sort of activity, typically a church event or a dinner with friends. Not realizing, or really trying, I built a community that has stuck with me. A group of girls who I have been getting to know have become some of my dearest friends. They even introduced me to a man who I adore. Now I am finding that the hardest thing is letting go of the plans I thought were going to happen. For so long I believed I would go and do this or that and then return and things would be waiting for me. Life is changing. I am now praying that the Lord would guide me to follow his plans and not my own. I am not in control and I am slowly starting to realize how freeing that is. I have been set free in Christ. Released from my old bondage and becoming a new creation in Christ. If I do make plans, I need to constantly remind myself to keep those plans with open hands. This is when you feel true freedom. By the way, I have no formula for how to get to this place of freedom. I am still working on this myself. I will say that as life throws changes at you start with prayer, breathe and then realize that no matter what the curve ball, God can and will use those life changes for his kingdom purposes. The more you embrace change and unexpected curve balls the more you will enjoy your life. So smile and laugh when life wants to bring you down because with Christ nothing can keep you down for very long. Verses to read that have inspired most of my thoughts for this post: Warning about Self-Confidence 13 Look here, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we are going to a certain town and will stay there a year. We will do business there and make a profit.” 14 How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone. 15 What you ought to say is, “If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that.” 16 Otherwise you are boasting about your own pretentious plans, and all such boasting is evil. 17 Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it. James 4:13-17 (NLT) 12 I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. 13 For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. Philippians 4:12-13 (NLT) Capturing the feelings whirling in my stomach and brain is near impossible. I have sadness, excitement, pain, joy, anger, motivation, debilitating thoughts, fears, nausea, gladness, thankfulness all at the same time. Life is not always a bed of roses. When there are roses there are also thorns. Life is full of twists and turns. Learning to live a life with the mix of emotions can be daunting, but this feat is possible.
Last year, exactly a year ago today, I came upon the train wreck on I-5 in Dupont. My life had already been turned upside down before this moment and this just made things complicated. 5 months prior to this incident my dad was diagnosed with cancer, I switched jobs, and I started dating. After this incident my brain got cloudy with emotion and processing, my heart was broken, and my dad is continuing to fight the cancer in his body. There was not a clear direction for this writing as I began. Unlike the other posts I had an end goal in mind of where I wanted the post to go. In this case, I thought I should simply share where I am at since the train wreck because I started this blog by sharing that story. My life did not change as drastically as some other’s lives after the wreck. My life did change drastically after my dad’s cancer diagnosis. He is the strongest, most innovative and motivating person I know. Without my dad I would clearly not be the independent, strong willed, dreamer I am today. He taught me that nothing should come between me and my relationship with my heavenly father. No matter what other people do or say, Jesus is separate and holy and loves me for who I am. This has defined and grown me to rely solely on my Jesus for everything. My identity, my value and worth, the way I think about my actions and daily struggles. Jesus’ grace fills all of my insufficiencies and weaknesses. One way in which I have changed since the wreck has been allowing others in to my hard shell. I tend to be guarded and want to work through things on my own, in my own time, in my own way. After the wreck I began sharing more with others and listening more to them. Now I have had to be careful who I share with cause not everyone can handle my thoughts or know the perspective I am coming from. This process of sharing has taken me down a path to pursuing relationships with a couple specific woman in my life whom I have known for most of my life. We are intentional with our communication and checking in and praying specifically for each other. We have established a base of trust where I can call when I need a friend and they will be there to listen. At least one of them is always available and we take turns being there for each other. We are all in a season of growing and learning in our young twenties. A season of uncertainty, testing and wishing that our life’s next step was planned and certain. We help each other process and be content with the uncertainties of our lives. I thank God that they are in my life. So, I simply want to say, do not isolate yourself. Find people you trust or want to grow with and allow them in to your darkest moments. Give them space to encourage and lift you up. Life is not meant to be lived alone. Trust Jesus. Find friends <3 My friend Jena inspired me and I would like to share my thoughts. Originally starting this blog was a HUGE deal. I would print out the written words and edit, edit, and edit some more. Add and delete content. This last blog, "Reflection of Perseverance 2018," was an utter “just post your thoughts,” moment. I got more encouraging responses than ever before. Writing may not be scary for some, but I was told by English teachers my whole life that I was “okay.” Loving to read and thinking about possibly being a writer someday, this broke my heart. I convinced myself writing was not for me. I am not saying anything has changed about my writing technique. I am encouraging you that if you want to do something do not let ANYONE tell you “no,” or “you can’t.” You CAN! The thing you do may not end up perfect, but nothing is! Step out in faith and see how God uses you. I will continue to write and if others gather encouragement from my posts, hallelujah! If not, thank you for reading anyways and I hope you find another more encouraging place to be reminded of how loved and valued you are. I will say that I just read this last paragraph at least six times. All to say, your next step may scare you, but if you feel a push to do something and that action aligns with your moral truths, go for it! Do not let anyone tell you that you are not enough. I believe that everyone has a story and that everyone is a beloved child of God. Some will never accept that love. Those who do have access to heaven on earth and then into eternity. I have hope in that and while I am here I am going to start saying yes more often to my dreams. Let’s scare satan together by fighting his lies with our truth. You are God’s precious gem. You are His Be Loved, Beloved. Live in that truth today. Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says, “Oh crap, she’s up!” Many months have passed since I last had the energy and the motivation to write another blog post. Everything in me was fighting for joy and simply waiting upon God for my next steps. During a Bible Study the other night I was reminded of my goal to persevere through 2018. I may not have stuck to my blogging plan. I did stick to my goal of pursuing Christ, healing, and my family. First of all, I took a few months to work out my emotions through exercising by training for a half marathon. This year I completed two halves in two months, I know, I am crazy. What is even crazier? I enjoyed them! The training helped me process my emotions and feelings from the last few months and the actual racing cleared my head and allowed me to focus on one thing, my trust in God to help me take another step. Second, I followed through with my first and only completion of a Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) group which lead me to be pursued by a friend made in that group to continue a Bible Study outside of BSF which has grown me and made me feel more loved and connected in the city I am currently living in. A couple months ago I also started a group with some dear life long friends and the three of us have already seen the transforming effects this group has had on us as friends and we cannot wait to see what else God has in store for us as we continue to be a constant support for each other in every area of our lives. Third, my dad has continued to battle cancer and every weekend I have the ability to spend incredibly quality time with him and my mom. These times are special and ones I would not trade for the world. I am so thankful for the blessings God has given me amidst some of the biggest battles I have ever faced.
One of the biggest challenges I have had to persevere through during the last eight months is calling on the Lord for the plans that He has for me. I wanted each step all laid out for me. I kept asking God, “What direction do you want me to take now?” I was constantly getting on my knees and praying that the Lord would bring me the direction I need for my next steps. No reply… I began to believe the lies the devil uses such as, “He can’t use my broken pieces, I strayed from the path and tried to take control, what can I do to bring Him glory when I am broken just like everyone else?” Well guess what, Paul was way worse off! He killed Christians and God chose him to be one of his most devoted followers. He in turn become a martyr for Christ alongside Jesus’ disciples. Then I began to think, “how dare I limit the all powerful God by the limitations I was putting on myself.” If God can use someone like Paul, Peter, James, John and so many others, He can definitely use me. So my prayer changed. I began to pray, “Lord, I may have no idea what your plan is, I may not know where you will lead me, but I trust you. Use me as your instrument to bring others to Christ. Speak Lord, your servant is listening and waiting on your instruction.” In the meantime I have received more clarity in the path I will take. Even though nothing is laid out perfectly, I do know that God can use me if I let Him. If I can simply be ready to say, “Yes, Lord,” He can and will call me to bring Him glory. I thank Him for His promises and blessings daily. How does one persevere? I learned tonight from my Bible Study, Discerning the Voice of God by Priscilla Shirer that, “If you have not heard from God lately you are on the right path. Fully engage where He has you right now. If you rush forward to quickly there will not be enough endurance to keep you going. Each step has something for you. Rest in that step until you feel God pulling you to move in another direction. Fully embrace where you are right now.” This was so convicting to me because I am always looking ahead to where I want to be versus resting in the place God needs me to be. As a child I was never that way. I loved being a child. Then I grew up and as a student athlete deadlines for competitions, tests and class assignments were ingrained in my head. I was trained to look forward to the next race, the next project, the next due date when I should have been resting. Resting in the place God had me while training, studying, listening. I was always afraid of getting to comfortable. Granted there is a balance. I know for me I needed to slow down, stop and smell the roses. Instead I always dove in head first into any opportunity and think or process the implications later. Thank you, Jesus for teaching me to rest in you. The lesson is not over. I am still in the midst of my training. Keep in mind that God will entrust us with more responsibility as we show our reliability and faith in the little things. Don’t dismiss the everyday challenges. Embrace the moments God gives you right now and thank Him for the lessons learned because in those lessons and hard times He will be testing you to see if you are ready to handle the next task. Rest right where you are, Beloved. Do not shy away from the hard times. Embrace them and find Jesus waiting for you around every corner. Experience Peace through spending time with the Prince of Peace as He continues to guide you in the direction of your life. You can persevere because God has got you. January 1st, 2018 one of my closest friends and I discussed having words to give us hope and a goal for the year. Her word is Joy. If you read my last post that was something I had been pondering, “How can we be joyful in our circumstances?” Definitely something I will continue to ponder and think about as I work on being joyful while this world continues to be in great tribulation… BUT God has overcome the world… so be joyful!! Come on, Alicia (internal pep talks are good for finding joy and persevering during tough times). Now this blog is going to dive into my perspective on the word and idea of perseverance. Persevere is my word for 2018 and means to persist or continue on amidst counter influences, opposition, or discouragement; to go on resolutely or stubbornly in spite of opposition. Due to my current circumstances I have found myself in moments where persevering is the last thing I want to do. Crying seems more comfortable than smiling. Breaking down in Costco feels better than acting as if buying baby wipes for my father is normal. These days are hard. Moments are difficult. Through all of the trials I have been through the last couple months I have found infinite joy in reading the word of God. Everything I learn lately seems new and exciting. There is just never an end to the information I can glean from the Bible. These moments remind me what is truly important. Spending time resting in God gives me strength to persevere and move forward when all I want to do is rest my head. “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds. Because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:2-3 Something I learned lately while reading struck me so profoundly and deeply that I felt the need to share it. I am hoping that what I experienced while reading can be expressed eloquently enough for others to come along the journey of perseverance with me. Tools to Persevere: Mark 15 is the story of Jesus being taken before Pilate, sentenced to crucifixion, mocked, tortured and killed. In Mark 15:29 the story continues where Jesus is on the cross and reads, “The people passing by shouted abuse, shaking their heads in mockery. ‘Ha! Look at you now!’ they yelled at him. ‘You said you were going to destroy the Temple and rebuild it in three days. Well then, save yourself and come down from the cross!’” Imagine how lonely and tired Jesus was at this point. Who knows when he last slept. The night before he was up sweating blood in the olive grove, Gethsemane. His disciples were denying they even knew him. Jesus is now on a cross between two criminals in the process of dying and he calls out, “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?” While the people below are shouting nasty words and judging him without understanding his whole purpose for being there. Have you ever felt alone? Tired? Misunderstood? Lost? Uninterested in facing the next heartbreak, financial loss, job loss, health problem? Look at Jesus! In Hebrews 12:1-4 God gives us the tools to persevere in this life. Breaking down Hebrews 12:1-4 the steps look like this: Step 1: Know what weighs you down (What is your sin? ie: lust, anxiety, anger, perfection, etc.). Hebrews 12:1 Step 2: Get rid of your sin(s). Hebrews 12:1 Step 3: Realize your sin and avoid the temptations (ask for God’s help). Hebrews 12:1-2 and Matt. 14:29-31 Step 4: Set your eyes on Jesus. Hebrews 12:2 and Matt 14:29-31 Step 5: Keep your eyes on the prize, the joy awaiting us in heaven to be with Jesus. Hebrews 12:2 Step 6: Know that these steps will not prevent you from experiencing hardship. Hebrews 12:3-4 Step 7: Holding to these steps, listening to God’s encouraging words, remembering what Jesus endured on the cross for YOU because he loves you will bring you peace. When you experience hardship remember that God is a loving father and he will use the heartache and pain to shape you into the person who is lacking nothing (according to his word). Hebrews 12:3-4, Proverbs 3:11-12, and James 1:3 One of my favorite songs continued to play in my mind as I wrote this blog. Temptation by 116 from their album Man Up. At the end the lyrics sing: “Because you can try harder and you can do better And you can hang on longer, that's not manning up Manning up is our ability to lay down all of our effort And all of our trying and all of our strength and say I trust in Jesus I trust in his perfection, I trust in his power, I trust in his resurrection Because He's the only one that can get me through this And He's the only one that can make me free.” When 2017 was coming to a close did you hear anyone say, “2018 is going to be a lot better!” I heard people on the news, friends, family and others say this a lot. Our country and so many individuals had an insane 2017 and were looking forward to a better 2018. Of course hope in a good new year is great, but no one should expect their circumstances to change with the new year. The only way this year will get ‘better’ is if you let go of your expectations for a ‘good’ year and expect God to take control. Trust in him and explore your strength through your freedom in Christ! Allow yourself to Be Loved, Beloved. “I used to think I could shape the circumstances around me, but now I know Jesus uses circumstances to shape me.” - Bob Goff What do you rely on to bring you peace? Where do you go when you are anxious or stressed out? I challenge you to go to God. Pray and get on your knees. Give him your stresses. See how God can change your heart and bring you peace. “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand.” Philippians 4:6-7 So where do we find our Joy?
Those of you that read my last post got to experience the brokenness and hurt I witnessed during the brutal aftermath of the I-5 train wreck a month ago. What many of you probably do not know is that after the incident some of my personal relationships became strained and my dad started his second round of chemo. Through all that life has thrown at me this last month there has been some extremely hard days. These include moments of getting out of bed and facing the new day because you cried yourself to sleep the night before. Moments where someone asks a question such as, “Wow, you look awful, are you okay?” Times where a loved one tries to relate their experiences to yours and instead of making you feel better the conversation makes you feel more alone. The truth is all your happiness will never be found in your circumstances or the people around you. DO NOT be discouraged by these words. I promise there is hope. Realization swept over me today as I was running. As I rounded a corner that I have ran a thousand times I ran backwards as I usually do to keep the view of the Puget Sound in sight twice as long. Then at eye level the most beautiful Bald Eagle flew less than 100 feet away from me! Immediately my eyes welled up with tears and the verse, “but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” I was silently and gracefully reminded that the Lord is in control. He is the one who has forgiven me, redeemed me, and will always love me. My Joy is found in the Lord. He alone is in control. “My joy is found in the Lord. He alone is in control.” The only power that others have to control our joy is the power we give them. Never let others have that power. Always find your strength in the one who has proven faithful. Always find your strength in the one who knows you fully. Always remember to allow yourself to be loved by the one loves you more deeply than anyone else will ever be capable of. Remind yourself that Jesus chose to pay the ultimate sacrifice for you. He saw your face. He knew that as he was dying he was dying for you and the sins you were going to commit. Remember the man on the cross who was crucified next to Jesus in Luke 23?! Well he is in paradise right now! Can you imagine the pain and suffering that man went through on the cross beside Jesus? Picture yourself dying for the sins you committed. Now look into Jesus’ face and see him next to you saying, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise (Luke 23:43).” Can you imagine the peace that dying man had while on the cross? You can have access to that same peace in the midst of your worst circumstances just as the man next to Jesus did. The peace he had as he was dying was found because he realized that he would spend eternity with Jesus in paradise. When you are close to God and spend time with him you can experience that same peace! That is the key to finding your joy. You have to fight for your joy through a relationship with your creator and heavenly father. Ask him to forgive you and tell him you love him. He already loves you more deeply than you could ever imagine. Give him your heart and see what he does with it. I promise you will not regret the indescribable peace you will feel when you allow yourself to be loved by the one who created you. I dare you to challenge yourself to see the good in your daily life. When someone says something encouraging take note of it. When you have good moments do not brush them aside. Write them down. Dwell on them. Thank God for his infinite blessings. Pray that he would make obvious the everyday blessings he has given you. That those blessings would drown out all the pain you are experiencing. Do not dwell on the things of this world that you don’t have. Dwell on the things he has given you. Count each one of your blessings and do not forget where your joy comes from. #myjoycomesfromthelord #fightforyourjoy #belovedbeloved Conclusion: Joy is not found in our circumstances, but in Christ For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent and set me high upon a rock. Then my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me; at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy; I will sing and make music to the Lord. Hear my voice when I call, Lord; be merciful to me and answer me. – Psalm 27:5-7 (NIV). P.S. If this blog post has encouraged you or challenged you in anyway please email [email protected] or make a comment below We were driving on I-5 and all of a sudden traffic stops. Daniel and I are looking around to see what has happened. I think immediately that there must have been a car accident then Daniel points out to the train tracks ahead. Directly in front of us and looking up there is a train dangling off the tracks. Then I saw a puff of smoke go up from the wreckage. Immediately Daniel pulls the car to the right to get off the on ramp and takes us to the bluff that looks over the scene, at first attempting to avoid the inevitable backup of traffic. Looking down from the above cliff at the train we realized there was no one at the wreckage. No EMT, First Responders, etc because the wreck had just occurred a minute or so before. Realizing the people below may need help Daniel pulled over to the side of the road. At that moment he asked me if I wanted to go down and try to help the situation. Knowing he was willing, able and trained I followed suit and prepared myself as much as I could to go down into the wreckage. We both had work clothes on. Daniel a suit and me a dress with leggings. Fortunately, Daniel had some industrial like boots in the back of his car and he swapped his dress shoes out for those boots. The head lamp he had stashed away fell out of the trunk and Daniel took that with him as well. I already had boots on and then I simply tucked in my dress to my leggings and put my raincoat on. Prepared and ready for whatever was to come Daniel looked at me and said, “Do you want to run?” I looked at him and we just started booking it. For a moment I thought, “What can I do? This is ridiculous, that crash is huge? How can Daniel and I help or even make a difference of the mess we were about to encounter?” I quickly shoved the doubts out of my head and kept running after Daniel. Running across the bluff we eventually saw the track below and started bush whacking our way down through the forested area. Once we hit the track below we ran across the railroad running along the wooden planks. Daniel got to the scene ahead of me and started assessing the situation. When I got there we began to see people who were pulling themselves from the wreckage. I immediately started escorting people down the muddy embankment where the EMTs and First Responders had started to show up on the freeway. As I was escorting and comforting the others, Daniel crawled into the train’s broken window that was probably 6 feet above the ground. He pulled himself in to take a look around and make sure everyone had made it out of that train car and at that time there were only two people left. A mother and her 18ish year old son. He had a hurt back and Daniel decided we could not move him for his own safety. I stayed with the mother a few minutes and asked if she knew any songs. I started to sing Amazing Grace. Not sure if she heard me. I asked her if she could continue singing it to her son to keep him calm. I was also hoping this would help keep her calm. I am not sure what happened to her and the boy, but I pray they both made it out safely. Then there were so many people I wish I could remember all of their names. (the ones I do remember have stayed confidential in order for their privacy - but if I helped you during the crash please message me on Facebook! I would love to hear that you are okay). There was a middle aged white male and black women who had left their cars from the freeway to see how they could help and cause they were so kind in helping those around us to stay calm and warm. One young woman was having a mental breakdown and was being comforted by an older woman. I asked if I could take the younger woman to safety and the older woman gave me permission and passed the young woman off to me so I could help her down the muddy embankment to the safety of the EMTs and First Responders. The young woman was having a hard time remembering why she had even been on the train in the first place and she kept asking me if her kids were with her on the train. The older woman and I kept telling her not to worry and I let the young woman use my phone to call her husband, but at that point he did not pick up and I left a message on his cell letting him know she was okay. Another lady was injured more physically than mentally. When she had gotten off the train her left eyebrow had been smashed in and was bulging out of her head. I would say within the 3-5 minutes of responding to her she was calm and collected but the bulge on her head had continued to grow and was about the size of a tennis ball. Her left hip had also been smashed in and she was talking about pain on that side like it had been punctured. She was wearing all black and I did not notice blood, but with great effort she was able to limp and eventually the EMTs were able to get her to the hospital. Two kids were down on that small haven of grass, just below the muddy embankment Daniel and I had been escorting others down moments before. I believe they had come from the train on the freeway and they were calm at the moment I saw them but very worried. The older sister of the two was asking if we had seen her dad. She had not seen him get off the train. At that point, I almost broke down cause if it was my dad in the train cars I would have not been okay. I did not let one tear fall though cause these kids and everyone around me did not need a tear-filled eye. All I could do was comfort them in saying they were safe and we prayed for the safety of their father. Every soul there was so receptive of the prayers I offered and the little comfort or warmth I was able to bring them. At this time EMTs and First Responders really started to take over as they had a system by now. They had tents and tarps labeled different colors for varying needs by the people involved in the accidents. Green – for people who could walk, yellow – for the people who would need attention eventually, red – for those of immediate medical attention, and black – for the deceased. They had ambulances coming in and out, picking people up and taking them to the hospital. They had a system and were bravely continuing to care for the people injured in ways I could not. Now all I could do was keep people warm and so I kept talking to those around while holding onto a lady who was shivering. I wrapped a blanket around her and at first the middle aged black lady from earlier held her so comfortably, as if she were her mother. I loved seeing that women’s strength and I so wish I could remember her name! At that point Daniel had also realized that the fire trucks, medics, and first responders had the situation under control and so he came walking back to the grassy haven. We then walked back up the tracks and through the woods where we had come from. On the tracks we had received a text from Darien, Daniel’s youngest brother, to call King 5 news cause the story was being shared on TV at that moment. Immediately they put us on live television and broadcasted the story we had just lived through. Daniel later describes the scene as a war zone. That event truly was horrific and I am continuing to pray for the people and families affected by this terrible accident. Then, about 30 minutes later or less Daniel and I started getting our phones blown up by different News Channels and News Papers. Hundreds of people began messaging us on Facebook and over text. We were overwhelmed as we had continued driving to work after the event. Upon arriving at work most everyone knew what we had done or were beginning to hear the story from others or the news. Attempting to enjoy the Christmas party we kept getting bombarded with calls. Shock started to wear off for me at this point and my stomach started to feel sick. Seeing so much blood and pain and heartbreak knowing this event will affect those involved for life and their families will be hurting as well. In the middle of fielding all these calls Drew, Daniel’s oldest brother told us to forward all calls, emails, and texts to his phone and he started having those conversations for us. He began scheduling with the second oldest brother, Derek, when and where these interviews would take place. Drew set up a Skype system in the upstairs of the Konzelman’s home and the camera crews were setting up downstairs. A CBS News Correspondent, had encouraged me on the last day of interviews how important our story was to the people who would hear it. He continued saying that the reason he and so many others wanted to share our story was because amidst so much tragedy our story was a story of hope, encouragement and inspiration. He had called us heroes and I had mentioned how we were just doing what any person would hope to do in that situation. He poo pooed that by saying, well not many people get in those situations and can actually function and do what they were trained to do. He later told us a story about how he trained other lifeguards CPR and basic safety training, but when there was a moment for him to implement his skills and start CPR on a man whose heart had stopped in an airport, he froze and was unable to start CPR. He told us that he still regrets that moment to this day cause he could have started that man’s heart. The next camera crew was NBC Nightly News and their director was incredible! So sweet and he said, “I have never been to a camera shooting where the hosts were so nice and welcoming.” He mentioned how he had felt so comfortable coming in and giving us a moment to share our story. I pray he experienced the love of Jesus during that time at the Konzelman home. One broadcaster earlier that morning from 100.7 the Wolf had said, “You know a true hero when they run into danger instead of away from danger.” Thank you everyone who wanted to share our story to motivate, inspire, and give hope to others who may be faced with difficult situations either now or in the future. |
Alicia HoversonBeloved Child of God |